The Hidden Dangers of an Online Life
The last two blog posts in this series explored some of the cringy but often fairly innocent direct messages sent on social media, as well as the relationships that can be formed from this type of communication in the form of sugar daddies and Paypigs, but unfortunately these messages and ‘relationships’ can go too far, and cause immense harm to some involved.
At the beginning of 2020 Caroline Flack took her life, and an outpour of love and sympathy covered social media with the phrase ’Be Kind’ at the heart of it all. This quote was used to encourage people who used social media to spread kindness and not hatred, particularly towards those who are in the public eye. Cyberbullying and trolling are huge issues within social media, and stories like Caroline’s are unfortunately all too common. The main distinction is that those who are bullied or trolled online are mainly done so by anonymous accounts and people that they do not know personally. But what happens when someone you have built a ‘relationship’ with over the Internet decides to take things too far?
There are many stories online about girls who have met boys on dating apps or over social media platforms, and after talking for a while have decided to meet face-to-face, but they don’t all end up happily ever after. The story of young student Grace Millane shocked the world, after she was killed whilst backpacking the day before her 22nd birthday by a man with whom she had been on a Tinder date that night. In 2018, whilst in New Zealand, Grace was murdered by her date after returning from their meeting and arriving at a hotel. Once dead, Grace’s killer returned to Tinder the next morning, continuing to message other young women- one of them who even shared her story with the BBC, after being horrified to find out what had happened simply hours before she met him also.
Obviously it should not be assumed that everyone on dating sites are dangerous, but it is clear that you simply have no idea what can happen when meeting strangers, no matter how well you think you know them.
Since 2016, Japan has seen a major increase in ‘digital-stalking’, and has publicly highlighted this risk after a number of attacks on female pop-stars. In 2019, a man was able to identify the train-station one of these singers was in by looking at the reflection in her eye on a selfie she had uploaded to social media. Despite insisting that he was a fan, the man in question was accused of following her home from the train station and molesting her. This incident began to raise questions about the safety of social media users, the information that they are making available, intentionally and unintentionally, and how this is being used to the advantage of dangerous people.
As we discussed previously, a lot of people are entering into the world of sugar daddies, sugar babies and Paypigs, begging the question of what can happen when these sugar daddies don’t get what they want in exchange for their money, and vice versa with the sugar babies?
Often the sheer demand for money or sex in exchange for each other is the driver between these relationships of sugar daddies, sugar babies and Paypigs, but the greed for money is often the overruling factor that impacts on these types of relationships negatively. Paypigs often enjoy the element of blackmail that comes with their exchanges, however there are many instances where this blackmail has gone from being fairly innocent and part of the exchange, to very quickly becoming serious and no longer part of the fun of the experience. Blackmail and extortion are used by both professional and opportunistic sugar babies- using their power to ensure that they get more money or gifts. In cases where a sugar daddy is in a relationship outside of his sugar baby agreement, there are many girls who have taken advantage of this to use for blackmail- threatening to expose details of the arrangement to their partner and an effort to gain more financial benefits from him — and vice versa.
Social media has certainly brought the world more access to people’s lives, and for the most part people seem to enjoy sharing and being part of others lives in a way that was never really possible before. But clearly there are issues with how this access to personal information, locations, and lifestyles can lead to stalkers, extortion, and even death. In the constantly changing and fast past environment of online social lives, stories about bullying, extortion, stalking, and murder are almost commonplace, which should absolutely not be the case, and more needs to be done to protect users along with us all needing to become more educated about the serious risks that can come with being so open when sharing our lives through a camera lens.
